Most successful daters were those who dated people who had similar
outlooks to themselves. Those who were far less careful when selecting
a companion ended up having a much worse time. In other words, date the
people who are most like you in character to be successful in romance.
Simple really.
The fact is, we all occasionally choose the wrong
type of people to date. Maybe it is the challenge, the novelty factor,
the adventure or the risk. Maybe it is just boredom that makes us do
these things. There are lots of reasons why we do. We may want to act
as nursemaid, psychologist, mother, protector, sugar daddy, friend and
assistant. So who are the wrong types that we should try and avoid?
Here are a few that spring to mind:
Married People
Don't
even think about it my friend. This is a big no-no. If you are married
too then you re about to enter an affair that could cost you not just a
few stolen weekends but your marriage, kids, house, career, financial
stability and your heart. Dating married people is a stupid game and
for idiots only. Harsh words you may think but no good comes of dating
married folk. You see , if you are single and they are married you
cannot comprehend the amount of stress they will be dealing with during
an affair and they won't tell you either. It is highly unlikely they
will leave their partner for you. If they don't leave within the first
12 weeks, run like the wind. If the married person does leave them for
you, then the pressure is all on your buddy and any time things go
wrong in future you will be held severely accountable and blamed.
Then
there are the lies. The deceit which strip you of your dignity. The
fact that you will never get to see them at weekends when you have lots
of spare time will drive you crazy. And finally , when you are all
alone, they will be with their partner and family. All though you are
having sex with someone, for the most part you will still be single.
There are very few people in this world who can seriously cope with a
long term married affair. Avoid unless you are a complete fool.
Serial Daters - The Lounge Lizard(ess)
This
used to be the sole domain of men but in recent times women have become
as predatory as men have always been. The serial dater is often
interested ins ex and looks and will treat you as a trophy. You may
think you can spot these types a mile away but you can't because they
are extremely highly skilled in telling you what you want to hear. They
will be psychologists and seducers who take in your every word and play
it back to you in the hope that you will succumb. Once you have, there
is no where to go, you may be asked to stay around for a short while so
that you can be shown off to their friends but ultimately you will
certainly be dumped to be quickly replaced by someone who meant as
little as you did.
The Liar
There are few of us
who are completely virtuous so lets not pretend too much here. There
are a lot of people out there who have told a small lie to get someone
into bed. Even worse, there are a great many who lie from the first
date to simply try and impress. The problem here is that that almost
all people who tell lies ultimately get found out. On your first date
you will not be able to spot a liar if they are any good because you
will have no time to go over what you have been told, it will only
become clear over time. The risk is that by the time you discover the
awful truth (whatever it is) you may have already fallen for them.
Lying usually begins innocently enough and rapidly gets out of control
as the person digs themselves a hole. You can protect yourself by being
suspicious of any outlandish claims and checking out things you have
been told. The general rule here is that if you suspect something, you
are very probably right.
The Possessive Lover
Jealousy
and possessiveness are more widespread than we care to admit. The happy
go lucky person we have begun to date could easily turn into sleeping
with the enemy so it pays to be wary. Almost always, jealousy and
possessiveness come from deep insecurity, lack of self confidence and
self worth. Everything begins normally enough but quickly your date
wants to know where you are, who your friends are, calls too often and
wants to pick you up from work. They comment on what you wear in the
evening and prefer it that you stay home with them. A jealous person
will try and keep you home whilst they themselves break their rules.
They think that by keeping you isolated you will be more likely to stay
put. These people are afraid that they do not deserve you and will do
anything to keep you because they are convinced they are always about
to lose you. They will not accept you are there because you want to be.
Such people have emotional problems that you cannot fix and therefore
avoid at all costs.
The Rebound Person
The date
with emotional baggage is a non starter. Don't date these people. It
may be that they are still coming to terms with the end of their last
relationship so they are not looking for you yet, they are still
looking backwards for their original lover. It can take some people
years to get over a relationship break up so dating them will solve no
problems in the short term. When someone is fully ready to date again
it will show, but watch for constant references and comparisons with an
ex and if it gets too much let them downs gently an walk away.
The Flirt
Very
attractive in the first place but one of the worst dates you can choose
in the longer term. Flirts love to have fun and be the center of
attention and of course flirting is very sexy. But here we are
referring to serial flirters, those who cannot help but wanting to be
the center of attention with the opposite (or same) sex every time you
go out. They will always be focusing on who can make them the center of
attention and you may soon find you are being left out. This type is
for the very secure only so be careful.
The Social Misfit
Your
date does need to get on with your friends and mix well in your
established social circle. In the same way you need to be able to mix
easily in theirs. That is the basis of a good match as there are many
unspoken belief system confirmations going on when you mix. If you mix
together well then you have the same social beliefs in terms of
behavior, humor, communication etc. You may feel that you can date
people from completely different social climates but be very well
prepared if so.
The Boss
No no no no no. The
worst date you can choose. Mixing business and pleasure is a recipe for
disaster and not worth contemplating. You may be attracted to their
power and position, their looks, intellect and sophistication but the
rest of the office will see you as trying to sleep yourself to the top.
When it all goes wrong you will have no place to hide and in the
meantime your entire private life will be the attention of the office
gossips. Just don't go there unless you wish to get hurt and harm your
career. |
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