1. What is Common between:
Krishna, Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied:
All are born on Government Holidays.
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2. Teacher to a Sardar:
A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar:
I Love You, You Love Your Daughter,
So I Love your daughter.
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3. Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi,
Woh RAM kay Mandir me gaya,
Ram ne kaha Baju wale Hanuman Kay Mandir may ja,
Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi thi.
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4.An American, a Briton and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls
out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink
from the same one twice."
The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into
the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In Britain we have so many factories to make the glasses that we
don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his
glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the
Briton.
He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Britons that we don't need
to drink with the same ones twice."
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5.THERE IS THIS GOOD OLD BARBER IN LONDON....
ONE DAY A FLORIST GOES TO HIM FOR A HAIRCUT. AFTER THE CUT, HE GOES TO PAY
THE BARBER AND THE BARBER REPLIES:
"I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE."
THE FLORIST IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP,
THERE IS A "THANK YOU" CARD AND A DOZEN ROSES WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
A POLICEMAN GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY THE BARBER AFTER THE
CUT.
BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE.
THE COP IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
THE NEXT MORNING THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP, THERE IS A THANK YOU CARD
AND A DOZEN DONUTS ARE WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY THE
BARBER AFTER THE CUT.
BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE. "
THE INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER IS HAPPY AND LEAVES.
THE NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP,
GUESS WHAT HE FINDS THERE...?
CAN YOU GUESS?
TRY TO GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
??????
COME ON, THINK LIKE AN INDIAN.................
Scroll Down for the answer
A DOZEN INDIANS WAITING FOR A HAIRCUT!
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6.I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court when I noticed
an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had
spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the
old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he
sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything
wild in your life?"
The old man didn't bat an eye and replied - - "Got drunk once and had
sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!!"
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7.Many times, people say that the women species talk too
much...
But there's no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE
Example...
When the women say:
"This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you donīt wash them now !!!"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now !!
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8.A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids...
"WOW," the social worker exclaims," are they ALL YOURS???"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats.
"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well, this one he is Leroy, also."
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?"
Their Momma replied, "Wel l, yes-it makes it easier.
When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!'
An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a
runnin.'
An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell
'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin'
them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just
want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"I call them by their last names. |
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