|
SYMPTOM
|
FAULT
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ACTION
|
|
Feet cold and wet.
|
Glass being held at incorrect
angle.
|
Rotate glass so that open end
points toward ceiling.
|
|
Feet warm and wet.
|
Improper bladder control.
|
Stand next to nearest dog, complain
about house training.
|
|
Drink unusually pale and tasteless.
|
Glass empty.
|
Get someone to buy you another
drink.
|
|
Opposite wall covered with
fluorescent lights.
|
You have fallen over backward.
|
Have yourself lashed to bar.
|
|
Mouth contains cigarette butts.
|
You have fallen forward.
|
See above.
|
|
Alcohol tasteless, front of your
shirt is wet.
|
Mouth not open, or glass applied to
wrong part of face.
|
Retire to restroom, practice in
mirror.
|
|
Floor blurred.
|
You are looking through bottom of
empty glass.
|
Get someone to buy you another
drink.
|
|
Floor moving.
|
You are being carried out.
|
Find out if you are being taken to
another bar..
|
|
Room seems unusually dark.
|
Bar has closed.
|
Confirm home address with
bartender.
|
|
Taxi suddenly takes on colourful
aspect and textures.
|
Alcohol consumption has exceeded
personal limitations.
|
Cover mouth.
|
|
Everyone looks up to you and
smiles.
|
You are dancing on the table.
|
Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
|
|
Drink is crystal-clear.
|
It's water. Somebody is trying to
sober you up.
|
Punch him..
|
|
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind
unusually clear.
|
You have been in a fight.
|
Apologize to everyone you see, just
in case it was them.
|
|
Don't recognize anyone, don't
recognize the room you're in.
|
You've wandered into the wrong
party.
|
See if they have free alcohol.
|
|
Your singing sounds distorted.
|
The drink is too weak.
|
Have more alcohol until your voice
improves.
|
|
Don't remember the words to the
song.
|
Drink is just right.
|
Play air guitar.
|