An Elephant on the road
So I was riding my little motoscooter around. Minding the 6 rickshaws that were not-so-secretly trying to kill me. Hands on both brakes. Thats when I saw a beast of an elephant. Walking along the other side of the road. Mumbai being the fast paced city that it is. This elephant was eating while walking. Obviously on a power lunch. On the way to a high power executive meeting.

A fat beggar
In marine drive. I was in the car with a friend waiting at the traffic lights. We were laughing at the “Dress Mat-riel” fellow on Radio Mirchi. When suddenly a beggar comes up to my friend’s window asking for Rs.5. He said he was hungry. We said no no (we weren’t being cheapskates but wanted to discouraging begging! Honest!). He walked in front of our car to get to the car on the left. Thats when we noticed his big belly. My friend says “Man! This guy is fatter than both of us put together! How can he be so shameless?”.

Goats having a head butting fight near my house
At the exit of my house. I see two goats. One brown. One black. Head butting each other. Playfully in the middle of the road causing a jam. People were reluctant to get in and separate the two duelers. Honking Car horns were useless. Everyone had to wait till there was a winner. Some people had started placing bets by the road side. I heard that the black one was the favorite. After 10 minutes of royal entertainment, It was the brown goat. A true underdog story.

A modified purple hyundai sonata. With shark fins.
A purple car. Yuck! With Blue lights at the bottom. Double Yuck! Thats the car I saw on the highway trying to overtake me. He had “Arnav” written at the back. Hmmm… There couldn’t be a better getaway vehicle than this one. Least likely to gather any attention. Oh did I mention the shark fins stuck on the top with Fevicol?

An honest policeman
So while riding my scooter the other day, I got stopped by the police for not wearing a ‘hem-let’. Yes. Hem-let! I used all my charisma to offer a bribe. The policeman didn’t even get the hint that I was trying to offer a bribe. I am pathetic at offering someone a little sweetener. I reckon he thought I was hitting on him.

(Just to clarify, that wasn’t what I was doing. I was trying to slip him a 50. I sound like Bill Clinton.)

Horses galloping on the highway
Eastern Expressway. Waiting at the front of the traffic at the lights. Looking at the advertisement hoarding suggesting that I need to think about how my kids are going leave me when I’m old and need to get an Insurance policy ready. Thats when I see a white horse galloping along to get onto the highway together with the traffic. Rickshaws, Scooters, Cars, Buses, Horses et al. Obviously late for a marriage somewhere. The rider wasn’t all dressed up like a groom, so too bad it wasn’t turning out to be a bollywood story otherwise I’d definitely have followed the horse to see the following tamasha.

Bombay Duck/Bombil
Also known as Harpadon nehereus. Doesn’t writing in latin make anyone seem smart? It could be totally irrelevant but still makes you feel and look so smart. I wonder if I should try using a latin line next time I approach a woman. Besides getting a positive reaction I wonder if she’d expect me to say more stuff in the exotic lingua. ‘Adigis me, pater, ad insaniam’ (translation : father, you make me insane.) Oh. The duck! Its really not really a duck. Its a fish. And its super ugly.

Rakhi Sawant
Need I say more?