Upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

==> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0.

==> Soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

==> In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

==> Can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

==> I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User

Tech Support reply:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

==> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM.

==> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

==> It is recommended that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

==> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

==> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
==> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean & Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

==> However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

==> Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software called Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

==> WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support