You won't starve without a can opener.
Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.
Jeweller's and grocery stores won't rob you blind.
Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.
Male Pattern Baldness.
You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.
"Heavy Lifting" isn't a necessity for ployment on your resume.
You'll never get a draft card.
You can distract an entire roomful of men just by reapplying lipstick.
You smell better. No matter what.
When you fight, you fight to kill.
You can cook your own food.
You see the humor in war.
You rule the bathroom.
Mo matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.
Sex means never having to finish the job.
It's ok for you to marry for money.
No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.
You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.
You don't consider urination a competitive sport.
You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion statement.
You'll always get served first in a hardware store.
Men are optional.
The Three Stooges don't live in your universe
You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.
You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.
You can bend over in prison.
You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.
You can always find a [how wude!]er to pump your gas for you.
You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment..
Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".
Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.
No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.
No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.
"Stagettes" are our little secret!
Someday you'll be a rich widow.
No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).
You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humour.
You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt. .
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