It starts out simply enough: A man and woman get together, they share
some wine, they go back to her place, their relationship grows, they
laugh and they fight, and they become-tada!-a couple. And then something happens: They're supposed to share everything
with each other. Their fears. Their dreams. Their thoughts. Their
bills. Their medicine cabinets. And that's when this simple little
romance starts to get complicated. in most relationships, there's such
a thing as too much sharing-and I believe that a little discretion at
the right time in the right situation is not only a good thing, but
also could actually improve relationships. As long as you're not
breaking the relationship rules-like playing tonsil hockey while the
goalie isn't watching-then a little mystery can be a good thing. Here,
five secrets you should keep to yourself-because not saying something
will actually speak volumes. (And just so you don't think that I'm
pushing to abolish the honesty policy, you'll read about the things you
should never keep from your partner next time.)
You Don't Turn Me on Right Now
Granted, there will be days when your partner walks into the room and
everything sparkles-moments like these make us count our blessings. But
there are going to be other moments when your woman looks less like
Cindy Crawford and more like Broderick Crawford, and when your guy is
less Hugh Grant than Lou Grant. But when the occasional fashion faux
pas or haircut from Edward Scissorshands comes around, swallow your
tongue. If you want him or her to wear certain styles, compliment what
you like, and ignore what you don't. Eventually, they'll get the
message-but without the hurt feelings.
I Flirt With Others at Work
The stats don't lie: About 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women
have lusted after a co-worker-without ever making a move. Even if you
have no intention of taking it anywhere, nobody wants to think of their
significant others spending 8, 10, 12 hours a day around flirtatious
and attractive co-workers, especially when they look, smell and behave
at their very best. Want to share sexual secrets? Confess your
attraction to Hollywood celebs, not the co-workers in the adjacent cube.
I Can't Stand Your Friends
Your partner's circle of friends probably come in three different
categories: a perfect package, nice enough, and how the hell can the
two of you be friends? In that last category, there are all kinds of
crazies-maybe she's too controlling, or maybe he's a bad influence.
Whatever the case, know your audience. You may not like the friends,
but your partner has more history with them than with you. So while
they may not rank high on your personal list, keep it to yourself.
Boxing out a man's friends is a relationship deal breaker, according to
83 percent of men we surveyed. And 62 percent of women would end a
relationship if a guy doesn't get along with her friends.
I Still Think About My Ex
While it's natural to think about your ex, the Internet has
increasingly made exes a bigger threat than ever before. The phenomenon
of searching online for one's ex, which the majority of Americans admit
to, can really make your partner jealous and fearful-especially since
the phenomenon of people reuniting with very old flames has recently
exploded (again, because of the Internet). You put your exes in the
past; do the same with any conversation about them.
I Can't Live Without You
Why? Number one, it's not true; you can live without them. And number
two, the key to a successful long-term relationship is to ensure that
you've got your own life. You can say I love you, I enjoy you, I desire
you, I appreciate you. You don't say I can't live without you. A
partner should never feel trapped. He or she should be making a choice
every day to be with you. And you, with them.
|
Permalink
